Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
