They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
