ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
