ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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