walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
