I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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