Your face is a jimmy john
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize