Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
