i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
