yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize