And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you remember whose house we're in?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
