I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
