i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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