She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
