clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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