yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
