So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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