I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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