I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
