I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
