SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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