whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
