Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
