Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
