I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
