Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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