Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
