Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
