It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
whose parrot is this?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
