Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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