chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
