look no pants
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
