Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
