i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize