So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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