three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
