at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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