tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
