tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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