You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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