Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
