Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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