break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
