so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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