so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
