lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
