Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
