The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
COCAINE IS GR8
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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