They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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