How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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