if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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