Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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