I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
