So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
