I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
