I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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