I wanna bring you to show and tell
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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